OK, solved my problem. Credit to HL customer service. Beds are Happijack and HL rep got HJ rep on phone and in 3-way conversation we solved the problem.
If you ever have the same problem I can explain it in more detail. No time to type it all up, but the short version is that the hex connector rod that goes into the rod and the motor works it's way out of the motor into the rod. Release set screw, re-position into the motor and viola. (the "C" clip needs to be flush up to the motor.) But, you need to lift the "slave" side about a half inch before inserting, to make it go up a hair sooner, then the motor side tightens up in the end so you can get all the pins in.